Let us now go back a bit in time. It would do you good to refer to Genesis(27th May, 2009) here. Serious discussion had been the fad for a long time and God had finally had it. "I've had it", He said. "These people don't know what they want. Let me give them something that will change their lives." Cover versions of this quote were later made famous by Henry Ford and Steve Jobs, but few know that God had written the original words. Bakar was created, it spread far and wide, and it changed the world. God felt his work was done and went to the Bahamas for a vacation. But He might have been a wee bit hasty here. Unknowingly, He had thrust upon his children, a cataclysmic change. And since e-mail hadn't yet been created, no one raised a request for a bug fix to Him. And even if they had, it would be to no avail, for God's Blackberry* was switched off.
A googol of pina coladas later, God grudgingly decide to move back to heaven and take a look at how His children were faring. It was the late 18th century and Napoleon was at fierce battle with Nelson. God decided that this would be a nice watch and conjured up some popcorn. Although few know about it, but Nelson had sent a messenger to Napoleon warning him to stay away form the Nile, lest his fleet be vanquished. Napoleon consulted his generals and sent a reply to Nelson. Napoleon's messenger journeyed 8 arduous days on foot to reach Nelson's camp and read out the great man's message. There were three letters on the silk scroll which read, "L-O-L". The rest is history. Nelson destroyed Napoleon's fleet on August 1st, 1798, but before that, the messenger got disillusioned, quit his job and became an atheist on May 1st, 1798. He was the first communist of the world.
God finally realised the destructive nature of bakar and thought of erasing it from the face of the world. But He also saw the good that it had done. He fell in deep dilemma. "Pretty little pickle I'm in", He said. After doing a SWOT analysis and preparing a balanced scorecard, He figured that most problems began with long distance Bakar and decided to conjure up a device for the same. But the analysis had taken a wee bit longer than expected, because it was 1876 and Alexander Graham Bell had already been granted a patent for the telephone. God expressed his mild annoyance on this matter by writing the first-ever rock single, "These Crappy Patent Laws" and retired to the Fiji islands.
On 15th August, 1947 India became independent. According to a 1950 survey by St. Peter (as God was still sulking in Fiji), India was the country that had the most number of active bakar conversations per month in the world. China was 123rd in the list. Science had also grown in leaps and bounds by then, with the discovery of the atom and pro-wrestling. In 1952, St.Peter made a presentation to God, where he is rumoured to have said, "There is a definite use case for a device which supports long-distance bakar on the move in India. It would be strategic naivete to neglect a distinct consumer need that demands bakar 24x7." God's witty comeback was, "Pshaw".
The rest, once again, is history. The mobile phone was a huge hit all around the world and had just entered India. The operators rubbed their hands gleefully as they set high tariffs. St. Peter took a sabbatical and God felt bad. But wait, there's a twist to this tale, yet. One fine day, the unresourceful, wasteful Indian invented the missed call. Operators cried their hearts out and God was finally happy that He could pretend He was vindicated. In a gracious move, He invited St. Peter back to heaven, with the words, "Na-nana-na-na, I told you so, I told you so". St. Peter who was fed up with the dog-eat-dog world of mobile VAS sales, swallowed his pride and came back. They lived happily ever after. The End.
*The fact that God had a Blackberry back then, can be easily explained as a consequence of a break in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
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