Of Message Boards and TV Serials

Before I start, I want you to forgive me, because this post might have a slightly serious tone to it. But I'm sure you'll understand the sentiment if, like me, you've been reading user comments on Indian online news portals for the past week. Let me hit you with some priceless ones.

"If anybody says gays are by birth and related to genes...can they tell if a new born is a gay or not? This is height of shamelessness that people approve gay relationship. Anybody who are approving gay relationship....may their next generation become gay...then they will realize and have."

- On the gay legalization thingy

"No one can quench their burning passions that too when Sex Education provoking them further. Children will become wild and go astray like sheep which has no thinking on their own and direction. When aged and educated are perverted why not children."

-On Sex Education in schools

And there are many more, which range from the grammatically incorrect to the hilarious, to the indecipherable. But at the same time, the lack of awareness and deep-rooted prejudice present within Indians is disturbing to say the least. And mind you, this is the computer literate, internet-savvy populace that we are talking about here. Which makes one think about the average awareness levels existing in India. Apart from making me shudder, this thought also prompted me to write this blog post. I had planned to analyze and systematically take apart the prevalent dogma and superstition, which I believe were the underlying reasons for this sorry state of affairs. I was going to critique the socio-political issues plaguing India today. In short, I had decided to rant. Until I remembered Star World and Boston Legal.

The following is the transcript of my favourite closing argument by Alan Shore, the witty and compelling protagonist of Boston Legal; a character played superbly by James Spader. In this episode of the courtoom "dramady", Alan acts as counsel for Abby Holt, a 15 year old girl who contracts HIV after unprotected sex . She goes on to sue her school for not imparting proper sex education and only preaching abstinence. Clark Brown, the judge presiding over the case is a Boston Legal regular; a conservative octogenarian who provides comic relief.

Adam Jovanka, counsel for the school:
Your Honor, I think we all agree that fifteen is too young to be having sex. Is there anyone here who takes issue with that? Sometimes, when the right answer is “no”, you say no. You don’t start tinkering with morality to coincide with logistics. Kids need to hear “no”, not “here’s how, just in case”, but “no”. Abstinence was the right answer here. If she hadn’t had sex, she wouldn’t be H.I.V. positive. And even if you are so determined to opt for pragmatism, abstinence is still the right answer. Since the implementation of this policy, the teen pregnancy rate has gone down 30%. More and more kids are choosing not to have sex. And that’s good. Whether they get sick or pregnant or not. And if parents disagree, by the way, they can choose to teach their kids about condoms and birth control pills and diaphragms. But once the school starts doing so, come on, you’re implicitly telling the kids it’s expected of them to be sexually active. And many start doing so because they feel all their friends are. Sure, we can pass out condoms. But it is simply more responsible, more moral and yes, more safe to practice abstinence. That’s what we should be telling them. And this school is.

Alan Shore, counsel for Abby Holt :
This case isn’t about teenage pregnancy. She didn’t get pregnant. She got H.I.V. I can see why you would want to make it about teenage pregnancy, since, well, actually I can’t. The United States had the worst teen pregnancy rate of any industrialized nation. And contrary to what Mr. Jovanka would like us to believe, there is no evidence whatsoever that suggests using condoms or teaching students about condoms makes them any more inclined to have sex.

None. They’re already inclined to have sex and have been since early puberty. They’re simply going to do it, we all do it. Birds do it, bees do it. Educated fleas do it. One day, Your Honor even you”

[Slamming of gavel..]

Yes, the fact is this case has nothing to do with the efficacy of abstinence only programs. This case is about religion, politics and federal funding. Our present administration, in blind service to the religious right, has transcended the separation of Church and State and consistently implemented a faith-based political and moral mandate. And now that same policy has been passed on to our educational system. If schools teach abstinence only, they get federal funding. If they teach any other type of sex education, they don’t. And as a result, the students in these abstinence only programs aren’t being taught the truth about that magnificent technological marvel, the condom. That’s not a dirty word, Your Honor. Condoms.

[Judge slams gavel again.]

They first came on the scene some 3,000 years ago in Egypt. For centuries they wert merrily along in modified forms warding off syphilis, gonorrhea, preventing unplanned pregnancies, until science and medicine eventually caught up and the pill became a much more effective, less intrusive contraceptive. Penicillin and other antibiotics were miracle cures for gonorrhea and syphilis. The poor humble condom languished. And then came AIDS, this terrifying new disease that panicked the world. For many years, it has been fatal, gruesomely so in every case. There was no vaccine, no cure, no treatment. But there were condoms, and they worked. They were safe, time-tested, easy to use, and they protected both partners. The condom is arguably the single most important invention of the past 2,000 years. In fact, it has been said without exaggeration that the health of the world depends on them. Now one would think that the obvious choice would be for schools to tell their students as much.

But Abby’s school, indeed all schools, that teach abstinence only, have chosen to lie. They teach that condoms are ineffective at preventing pregnancies, which is a lie. They teach that condoms are ineffective at prevent disease, which is a lie. Some of the literature actually compares using a condom to playing Russian Roulette, which is a frightening, despicable, unforgivable lie.

Abby Holt has H.I.V., which in all likelihood will develop into AIDS. We’ve sort of forgotten about AIDs in this country. Treatments have improved dramatically. Drugs are keeping people alive for many years after they become infected. But the Grim Butcher’s bill for this pandemic still keeps growing and growing. 65 million people worldwide have become infected. One time unprotected sex can kill you. A condom can save you. It is inconceivable, that every child in the world isn’t taught that. We should be in criminal court this very moment, trying this obscenely duplicitous school for conspiracy to commit murder. Ah. But frankly, I have no stomach for that. I think of the horror that has been inflicted on this fifteen year old girl, and I’m just so profoundly sad. I can point out the evils of this corrupt system. I can tell you have effective condoms are, the lives they save and on and on and on and”¦ but words seem to be these hollow, useless things rattling around in this courtroom. Because ultimately the lies this school told Abby Holt will probably kill her. They have certainly altered her life forever. And in the face of that, all I can think of is “why”?